Going with the flow

  
As you all know I am a person who follow my heart and go with the flow from my previous writing. I have been reading on Buddha’s teaching recently and this is lead from a friend who have always been my guide when I have some unanswered question. I am a lucky person who is surround by people with wisdom .

Today I shall talk about my experience with going with the flow. A lot of people thought that going with the flow mean doing nothing . To me going with the flow is more on how u decide to react to the challenges throw to u when you are going with the flow of your life . I am a person who takes on whatever challenges universe throw at me unwillingly, but I always will blamed ‘heaven ‘ and say ‘Why me ????’ . In the past, I will be depressed with my suitation , I will resist every challenges throw at me . I don’t believe I have to leave it to fate because I am the one who control my destiny. 

After I started reading buddha’s teachings , I realized that every challenges throw to us , is a lesson to make us become the better version of ourselves. Because this year have been a very tough year for me , i had learn and grow a lot from all the challenges universe throw to me which lead me to today and lead me to buddha’s teachings for more clarifications in regarding human life . 

I read from a website saying ‘Whatever RESISIT, will PRESIST.’ All these years I have been resisting my challenges , I did not willingly accept all the challenges that come to me , I complained, I nagged, I blamed , I emotional. I realized that the more I resist , the tougher my challenges throw at me. At times , I am on the verge of losing my emotional. 

All these years, I have been swimming against the current in my life’s flow. I am not going with the flow , which I always thought I am. When you realized that your challenges keep getting tougher and tougher and life doesn’t seem to improve and your emotional is in a messy . This is a sign that you are going against your flow .

I am still learning to go with the flow , when challenges are throw to me now , I will be sad, angry, depressed but now I react better, I do not hold on to all these negative thoughts. The next day , I am back to my happy self again.

Through practising meditation and understanding the life, I am more in flow. When you are going with the flow , things go smoothly and in hamony. Sometimes , there will be some bumps along the way of going with the flow ,once you encounter the bump, learn from the experience and next time you can navigate around the bump. This is life lesson experience for us to become a better person. 

Most important is …..

HAVE FAITH THAT THE FLOW WILL BRING YOU TO A BETTER PLACE.

ENJOY THE RIDE THAT UNIVERSE PLANNED FOR YOU.

HAVE FUN AND LEARN ALONG YOUR JOURNEY.

  

Thank you Universe for the enlightenment 
Love & Light

Alicecbn

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Devil or Angel 

  
I believe that life is about growing and improving of self . Due to our material world, people are chasing after material desire and lose track on their inner values and morals.

Are you one of them? 

Althought technology , medical , science etc are advancing at an alarming rate. But we, human , have degraded. We are no longer the wise loving man that we use to be few thousand years ago. We are blinded by greed, hatred, jealousy, ignorance , power etc. The craving of desire for more things in life makes us believing that we are advancing and richer. However, we are degrading in term of wisdom , love , compassion ,virtue , caring etc. We no longer trust people , always thinking whether they are out to make our money . In this current world , we no longer know who is really true to our well being or just want to make the money out of us. Human are so good at masking their intention now. I feel sad. 

This make me realized that life is about cultivating inner self. Empowerment on Loving kindness and sharing the love and wisdom.

To know whether you are improving or degrading in your life, ask yourself the following questions :

Is your inner self becoming more of a devil or angel ?

Are you a better version of yourself today than last year , in term of inner self ?

People will ask me  “What is inner self ?”

My explanation : Inner self is the true you , real you or your soul . Understanding your inner self is a never ending process. Most often we are feeding our inner self with ego. Ego control us most of the time . Our emotions, action and decisions are all controlled by our ego self. 

We consciously feed our soul with ego , neglecting to feed our soul with love. 

Traits of devil : hatred,anger, jealousy, greed, immoral, ill thoughts etc

Traits of angel : loving, compassion , kindness , sharing , empathy etc

It’s easy to gauge whether you are improving or degrading in your inner self. By being aware of what your thoughts are most of the time , you will know whether is your inner self is showing more of the devil traits or the angel traits. 

Some people are very good at sugar wrapping their bad intentions. They can have bad intention to you at the back of their mind , but they still can smile and be very helpful to you. Backstabber is one of them . They think that it is their character , actually it is their ego that took over them. They have to search deeper , to understand their inner self if they really want to change for the better .

For me , I started being aware of my thoughts. I try to be aware most of the time. I am still a novice , so I am still learning . Anyway life is a long term learning process. If you stop learning, u stop growing and you will degrade. I do meditation for awareness of my thoughts , clearer thinking. I recently read a Buddha book saying meditation actually will reduce our ego. When we reduce feeding our soul with ego and replace it with loving kindness through meditation. We will automatically move more towards the angel gauge and strive to be the best version of ourself .

Maybe next time I will talk more about my experience on meditation . I benefited from meditation , so can you. 

Thank you Universe

Love & Light

Alicecbn

Is planning always good ? Think deeper 

  
I have been searching for my answer for few weeks . 

Question : 

Living in the moment mean no planning for the future ?

I am confused by this living in the moment statement , which contradicts with planning for the future . 

Looking back my whole life , I realized that I never planned for my future. I always go with the flow. Since primary school , I never planned what secondary school I want to study , I just wait for my result to determined which school I am entitled to. Even in choosing what course I want to study also depend on the result I have then I decide which course I want to study in polytechnic. I never know what I want in my life. The course that I choose in poly is Information Technology (IT)  , because IT is popular that time so I choose it . Not because of my passion because I just going with the flow during that time.

Strangely , I just go with the flow all my life. People who come and goes into my life , experience lead me to who am I today. 

Who am I ?

In good times ,  I envision myself as a Successful happy married woman . In bad times, I don’t see any future, i scared of the uncertainty, I start to plan.

Recently my thoughts are:

What if I can’t get married off by 35 ?

What should I do? 

I started to make planning for getting a house when  I reach age 35. In singapore single man/woman can get a government subsides house cheaper than private apartment. I no longer have faith in future relationship and I want to be independent. I lost hope in my future to have an loving husband since I broke up with my ex secret lover. 

I told my boss about my thinking. He was abit of sad and shock ,saying why am I planning for something which might not 100% happened. Why am I planning if I am single, why am I planning for an outcome that I don’t wish to come true. 

He made me realized that this is a very negative thought to hold and he know that in my heart I always wish and hope for a blissful marriage with someone I love . my logical mind linked to fear , and defend my heart for future pain and hurt . I am in defensive mode . All these while I thought planning for the future is good. But in my case , I planned out of fear , that I am left alone and no house to stay. He made me think deeper , analysis my true intention.

Sometime when we start planning about the unforeseen , I guess most of the time we are planning based on fear . Having something to fall back in event the something do not happened might make us feel more assurance and secure. 

Are we planning with positive thoughts or vision in mind or negative?

I think is a a very important question to ask yourself deeper, think deeper, search your heart .

HOPE without FAITH is just WISH

HOPE with FAITH is a MANFESTATION OF YOUR VISION (the outcome that you hope for with faith that it will come true)

Thank you Universe for sending my boss to enlighten me .

Love & Light 

Alicecbn

Unconditional Love

  
What is unconditional love ?

Online defination :

Unconditional love is known as affection without any limitations, it can also be love without conditions. This term is sometimes associated with other terms such as true altruism, or complete love.

My defination :

Love without expectation 
  
 

To me loving unconditional is a very high form of Love. Loving without expecting is challenging . How many people in this world really can love unconditionally ? Very few. Giving , sacrifice , loving without expecting ANYTHING in return , I feel that only those people who is noble and goddess have this kind of love.

Now , I still can’t imagine myself going into a relationship not expecting any return/reciprocity or outcome (eg: marriage , commitment , next level of relationship etc) . I agreed that I am still a shallow person, I am still learning and growing everyday. Are you the same as me ? I need some form of validation , assurance to make me feel secure and confidence abt where my future or relationship is going. Sometime I tell myself if after 5 years me and my ex lover are not together , I will not regret my decision. I doubt about it and in the end I decided to leave that relationship because I am not willingly to face the fear and the pain of the unknown future that we might not be together. I know I cannot handle all these because I am still not ready , in term of giving unconditional Love. 

Sometime , a woman who is in a abusive relationship thought that she is giving unconditional love by staying with their abusive partner. A relationship which is not working or not going anywhere or not happy. Just ask your self.

” Do I expect anything from this relationship ? “
If your answer is “Yes” . This is not unconditional love , this is conditional Love.

Example :
1) woman in a abusive relationship, hope one day the partner will change , become a good person .

2) hoping your unromantic lover to do romantic stuff for you

3) hoping that your lover of 3 years will propose to you soon 

All these are expectations . 

Unconditional love is ………

1) Love the person for who he/she is 

2) Giving without expecting any form of return 

3) Respect his/her decision even u are unhappy , but he/she is happy 

4) Put his/her happiness above yours

The person who can fully give unconditional love is someone whose inner self is full of love , peace and happiness. Only when u found this unconditional love within yourself , then you can extend this unconditional love to the world without. It’s takes a lot of time , effort , courage, soul searching , inner self discovery to love ourselves as who we are unconditionally. 

This separation period with my ex lover, really make me think about unconditional love. Recently I always ask myself….

1) “Can I give unconditional love to him or this relationship? ”

2) “Can I not expecting anything in return ?”

3) “will I be happy for my decision if things do not work out between us after I past my marriage and child bearing stages just to be with him ?”

My answer is a “NO” for all. 

I am still living in a conditional love. I hope I will enlighten one day and move into unconditional love. 

Universe , Pls give me the courage and power to be able to face the uncertainly in life with love and happiness.

Thank you Universe

Love & Light 
Alicecbn

Discovery of Twin Flame

Recently I have come across a lot of information on Twin flame (Twin flame stages, twin flame seperation etc) mostly frequently is the twin flame separation. I am no sure if universe is sending me signs that I am going through a twin flame stage and I already found my twin flame. So I went online and do reseach. What I discover is sort of link to my experience of my love journey with my ex lover , who I decided to remain as friends even the relationship we had is awesome. 

I related my love experience to the Twin flame stages from my understanding . 

  
Stage 1 : Start of the First meeting 

Me and my ex lover are collegue for 5 years. During that 5 years both of us are in a relationship. We are friends and nothing more . I always tease him that I will never fall in love for this kind of guy. He is really not my cup of tea. I prefer sensitive new age guy and he is the complete opposite, masculine and totally no dress sense.

Universe brought us together, and we sort of like switching partner to make the story cut short. He broke up with his girlfriend , and his girlfriend came looking for my boyfriend for a listening ear. They have feeling for each other as time goes by. Back then I have a lot of trust. Everything is like being plotted nicely , every action and path , is like universe is planning all these all the time. How 4 people with different school , education and background join the same company. How universe perform his power is amazing. This is where I start really believe that everything happened for a reason and our life here is plotted , and I start to discover my spiritual journey. 

Events that happened and lead me leaving my boyfriend and be with my twin. It’s already been planned by the universe . I seen vision of my twin wearing a gold wedding band on his left hand (a millisecond ), that’s when I know that he is “The One”. Universe planned , and bring us together. Logically , me and my twin’s path will never be crossed if all the events did not happened. 

Stage 2: Blissful and confused relationship 

Every moment being together with him is blessed , love, happy . A relationship that is awesome. Although, both of us is not prefect , we accept each other for who we are. In the beginning , he decided that we should keep this private . He kept our relationship from his family and friends and our company. I kept my relationship private to my company, my parents and friends know abt my relationship but I never introduce him to them in person. Because I am happy with him, during the time I only enjoy the moment. As long as I happy now , the future does not matter anyway. Time flies , I start to wake up to reality that my bio clock is ticking, I am 32 , I need to get married soon. I want more , I want assurance , commitment and security. 3 blissful years , a little doubting. I pressed him for commitment , but still no assurance. I confused , how can a relationship be happy and the guy do not want to commit. I start to doubt his feeling and our relationship logically. I can feel that he also love me , but there is something that is preventing us from going further. I don’t have the courage to leave him . Because I do not understand why I need to leave a happy relationship ever when I don’t have a relationship status with him, that matter abit but I don’t think it’s that important. Everytime,  I chose happy relationship over a relationship status .

I am always the chaser , chasing after for his commitment and assurance , forcing him to open our relationship to his friends and family. He just keep avoiding , keep running away from this issue. 

Stage 3 : The seperation 

Once again , I will never decided to leave him if these events have not happened. Events that Universe had planned for me again. And In my heart I know that it’s time to leave. To comfirm what universe want me to do. I seek advice from my tarot reading . Asking the universe should I leave him? Guess what , my answer is YES. Actually , there a few time through my tarot that universe want me to leave him. But I never have the courage to leave a happy relationship.

This time I no longer want to be the chaser anymore. I decided to stop chasing him For commitment and I Left him. At first I thought that it will be a very painful breakup. But now , I feel peaceful , calm and grow up. I realized that I am whole with or without him. I can proudly say that I no longer need someone to be my source of happiness. Because happiness is found within. Outside source happiness can only be temporary . This is that lesson I learned. 

I read somewhere that the seperation is meant for the both twin to learn lessons in this lifetime. Once both twin complete every lesson through their many lifetimes. This will lead to a reunion stage .

Stage 4 : The Reunion

Although I have no experience of this stage. I believe this is a very powerful reunion. A reunion which will bring betterment of the society and the world or people around the Union twin . Together , the twin flame give light and love to the world and people around. Both twin have achieve wholeness as individual, love and happiness from within as they no longer looking for happiness outside. The reaching of enlightenment of both twin. The power of unconditional love is achieved here . 

Hope that some of my experience can help some people who are seeking for some answer . This are all base on my understanding through my experience and what I research online .

Thank you Universe 

Love & Light

Alicecbn