Living in the moment mean no planning for the future ?
I am confused by this living in the moment statement , which contradicts with planning for the future .
Looking back my whole life , I realized that I never planned for my future. I always go with the flow. Since primary school , I never planned what secondary school I want to study , I just wait for my result to determined which school I am entitled to. Even in choosing what course I want to study also depend on the result I have then I decide which course I want to study in polytechnic. I never know what I want in my life. The course that I choose in poly is Information Technology (IT) , because IT is popular that time so I choose it . Not because of my passion because I just going with the flow during that time.
Strangely , I just go with the flow all my life. People who come and goes into my life , experience lead me to who am I today.
Who am I ?
In good times , I envision myself as a Successful happy married woman . In bad times, I don’t see any future, i scared of the uncertainty, I start to plan.
Recently my thoughts are:
What if I can’t get married off by 35 ?
What should I do?
I started to make planning for getting a house when I reach age 35. In singapore single man/woman can get a government subsides house cheaper than private apartment. I no longer have faith in future relationship and I want to be independent. I lost hope in my future to have an loving husband since I broke up with my ex secret lover.
I told my boss about my thinking. He was abit of sad and shock ,saying why am I planning for something which might not 100% happened. Why am I planning if I am single, why am I planning for an outcome that I don’t wish to come true.
He made me realized that this is a very negative thought to hold and he know that in my heart I always wish and hope for a blissful marriage with someone I love . my logical mind linked to fear , and defend my heart for future pain and hurt . I am in defensive mode . All these while I thought planning for the future is good. But in my case , I planned out of fear , that I am left alone and no house to stay. He made me think deeper , analysis my true intention.
Sometime when we start planning about the unforeseen , I guess most of the time we are planning based on fear . Having something to fall back in event the something do not happened might make us feel more assurance and secure.
Are we planning with positive thoughts or vision in mind or negative?
I think is a a very important question to ask yourself deeper, think deeper, search your heart .
HOPE without FAITH is just WISH .
HOPE with FAITH is a MANFESTATION OF YOUR VISION (the outcome that you hope for with faith that it will come true)
Thank you Universe for sending my boss to enlighten me .
Love & Light