Recently I have heard a lot of stories of married woman not happy in their relationship. People are contradicting . The grass are always greener on the other side. The moon is always brighter from the other side. We crave and imagine things that we can’t have or don’t have. Imagine that it is always better from the other side.
Is it really true that thing we don’t have its always better ?
Well, grass are not ALWAYS greener on the other side the moment we are there. If it’s not green then we have to take a lot of time and effort to make it green again. But some are lucky , the grass are green !! These are the blessed one.
How many of the woman got into a marriage because they feel that they will be better when they got married ??
From one of my Girlfriend who wanted to get married and have kids so badly for so many years . Finally got married and have a Son. What she told me does surprise me . Now she feel that she is happier when she is single?!?! When she is single, She only need to worry about her own finances , only spending on her own . Now she need to give money to her Husband’s family and her Husband. She need to handle not just her issue , her Husband’s issue and her Husband’s family issue. It’s triple the responsibility, stress, unforeseen things when in a marriage life. Life is not as peaceful , because more people in our life.
For me , I certainly cannot handle all these stress right now. My family’s issue, I already handle until I reached my limit. If I am married and all these these come at the same time, for the now me (year 2016 age 33) I cannot handle, I will totally break down and go crazy. From what I see my Friend is going through, I know I am not mature and whole enough to go into a marriage life yet.
I believe going into marriage because I am whole and complete as individual , I just need another person to share my happiness, joy and experience things together. A lot of people got into a marriage thinking , this man or woman will complete my life, he or she will make me a happier person.
This is a very wrong thinking !!!!!!
I also fall into that category for so many years. Thinking I will be better off when I got my Knight In Shinning Armour and he will protect me. This is the effect of watching too many princess cartoon .
Getting into a marriage thinking the other person will complete you . It is a total bullshit !!! Pls don’t let yourself from one hell slipped into another deeper hell. Another total bullshit reason to get into a marriage because IT’s TIME (I have a journal on this topic) to settle down .
Grass will not be always greener when you are at the other side. If you are not whole within yourself . When you at the other side of the grass , it will be the same or even worst. Only we , ourself can give happiness and security . When we are happy and secure within ourselves . The other person is a bonus in our life to make us happy- IER.
Pls don’t put your happiness on someone . Be happy yourself. Because only you will never leave yourself . All things change . Only change is permanent . When you are happy within yourself , you can overcome all the challenges that life give you.
I always remember this sentence from a movie
安全感是自己给自己的 (translate: only you yourself can give you security , no others)
This applied to happiness too.
I am still learning and growing . Let us learn and grow together !!!!!
Thank you universe for enlightenment !!!
Love & light