Hey all , Merry Christmas !!!! 

The first step of loving yourself is accepting . Accepting who you are , the good and the bad side. 

It is hard to accept myself . I have not accept myself for who am I. I don’t like myself But now I don’t hate myself . This is too irony.

Accepting seems like a dream to me . I can’t accept my current financial status , relationship status , career status , etc . Everything seems sucks !!!! 

I measure my self worth with the money in my bank account. This view of mine is really really distorted as I write this sentence . I wanted to laugh when I wrote this . OMG … This is so so ridiculous !!! 

Self worth = bank account money 

Am I blinded by my ego ??!?? 

Or my ego is controlling me ?!???!

So am I right to say a lot of money = Big ego 

Whenever I see my bank account money , I feel depressed . 

Who is the myself that I don’t like … The real me or the ego me. It seems like there are two me. The issue here is not about accepting who am I any more . Because the ego never accept anything which it deem as sub standard. Ego never compromise . Ego is like a child , who will be happy until it get what it want . But this happiness is never lasting . Once it gets this want , it will want a better and improve version for the next one . 

Maybe Universe know that I am still not ready to be rich because money is still linked with ego. 

Now I see more clearly . I am glad I write today . 

I highly recommend Eckhart Tolle : A new earth if anyone who want to know in depth about EGO . This book is talking about ego and how we thought that ego thoughts is our real me thoughts. This is confusing and I know . 

Thank you for reading . 

Thank you Universe

Love & Light



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