Lack of DisciplineĀ 

I have to admit that I hate discipline . I lack of discipline and that is my weakness and killer . Whenever discipline comes into my mind , it translate to hard work , boring , obscuring the flow , not loving , no freedom . I linked discipline with negative thought and emotion . This is why I hated being discipline by other or myself. I don’t like routine , I think it is boring. Discipline = routine . But I never run away from discipline in my life . The more I run away from it the more it come back to my face .
Without discipline , I can say that I am a damn lazy person . I have goals and dreams but I don’t know where to start because I don’t Don’t like being discipline . Buy after reading an article saying actually lazy is a trick of the ego . I have realised that I am being control by my ego most of the time . I thought that I am aware of my ego . In actual fact I am not . 

I have a very bad habit , whenever my business starts to pick up , I will revert back to the lazy me and my mind will tell me : “You have enough for this month , you can relax !! ” I would be so lazy to fix my appointment for the whole week or 2 weeks . I relax .. But deep down , I know that this is not what I want . It is a cycle . Without self discipline , I will never get out of this cycle and I will never achieve my goals and dreams. 

My life have been quite stagnant for more than a decade since I started working. It seem like nothing change much . 

All the while I thought that there is no discipline in my life . But I realised that there are some discipline that I incorporate myself . I started to swim Every week , controlling my diet and food intake , drinking warm water first thing in the morning when I wake up , discipline how I spend my money and keeping track of my money . 

ALL THESE ARE SELF DISCIPLINE !!!!!!

Unknowningly , I have been disciplining my life . I cannot give in to my lazy ego . I cannot fear discipline . This is one of the value that I want to build for myself , being self discipline . Although last time when every my mind say “discipline” I tend to ignore it . This time round I will view it as a positive value that I need to learn in my life . 

Thanks for reading my journal , really appreciate šŸ™‚

Thank you Universe !!!

Love & Light

Alicecbn 

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Have Faith in the Universe

Sorry that I have not been writing much this month as I have too much things to do for the past few weeks. 

What I have done the past few weeks are all new things I never thought that I would do . I started networking to meet up with new people and going for talk about health and food . I have been opening myself with new things that I do not dare to try in the past. I really have fun and I enjoy all these meeting with new people and new knowledge that I have gained . 

I started to believe in Universe and have faith with the flow of my life path. I believe that Universe have bigger and better plan for me. I surrender myself to the Universe (*** saying is easily than done *** ) I still do struggle to try not to control my life too much . That’s the fight between the ego and the soul . It is more distinctive now . Now, I can feel when is it my ego talking . It is like practically there is another different person in me . 

I can say that I am happy now šŸ˜ƒ

This year will be a ME YEAR . My emo stage is over . For those of you who have read my journal for the past few months will know that I am in a mess since I sold my car . I am so glad that I walk out of it already . 

I still do not have money in my bank account . But I am happy with where I am now . 

Things are picking up as I learn to have more confident and faith in the Universe . I did see a few miracles that is from the work of the hands of the Universe . It’s a Awe moment. 

I have learn to flow with the Universe and most of the time it is quite fun and effortlessly . I just let things come to me . I am still trying to figure the surrendering part to the Universe . What I realised is that I still have to do my part . I have to ask . The result will come either way . It might not be my way , certainly it will come another way .  Just have faith . 

I still do have fear in me , I am still a human not a Saint . But I am aware of my fear . Whenever I aware of my fear . 

I will say the following quote :

“Thank you Universe , I am aware of my fear . I choose to see love .” 

The light will shine into the darkness . 

When you are in doubt just say the above quote to yourself to shine the light .

I shall end my journal here . Thank you for making time to read my journal .

Thank you Universe for your Love . I love you too šŸ˜˜

Love & Light 

Alicecbn